In preparing for the epic display of musical mastery some of you are about to enjoy this evening, seaflux would like to present you with this absolutely true list of facts and vitals about the leaders of the seaflux empire.

Did you know...?

Matt Cole once saved a small town from a wild motorcycle gang and was awarded a pig who became one of his best friends. Phil Christensen once built a working helicopter out of rope and grass clippings. Dave Parillo spent seven years locked inside a sauna and when he came out he could see the past and future, but not the present. Matt Cole invented Hot Pockets when he folded his sandwich over during lunchtime in 1985. Phil Christensen set the world landspeed record on roller skates. Dave Parillo carried Jesus' cross for a good half of the way. Matt Cole is allergic to peanuts so now they only serve pretzels on airplanes. The "new economy" was built on Phil Christensen futures, but the tech bubble burst when Phil Christensen got a cold. Dave Parillo once won the national spelling bee, after consuming an entire case of beer by himself. Matt Cole pulled a little girl out of a wheat thresher when he was 14. Phil Christensen keeps the Halfling village safe from the goblin horde. Dave Parillo was once arrested for punching a handicapped woman's van. Matt Cole laid an egg the size of a man that will hatch on Armageddon. If you ever look at Phil Christensen with your naked eyes, you will go blind. If a blind man looks at Phil Christensen, he will be able to see. Dave Parillo is co-founder of the Fairground Association of Mid-West America and as such, he can ride any roller coaster once for free and then at a significant discount the next time but then he has to pay full price. Matt Cole used to work in a tractor factory and he was voted employee of the month three times in a row. Phil Christensen once ate a 20 ounce steak and skipped out on the bill but left the waitress a $100 tip. Dave Parillo can transform into four types of car and one type of minivan. Matt Cole bought a killer whale on the black market and claimed it as a tax deduction. Phil Christensen invented a shovel that has a built in cup holder and a place to keep a hot dog warm. Dave Parillo jump kicked Shredder and saved the ninja turtles from being turned back to regular turtles. Matt Cole was the first man to ever travel across the Atlantic Ocean on a rascal electric scooter. Phil Christensen has been wearing a Stay Puft marshmallow man costume since the premiere of 'Ghostbusters' and when asked to remove it, he cries marshmallow tears. Dave Parillo owns 3 McDonald's franchises with stellar cleanliness records. Matt Cole's favorite coffee mug has a picture of the Jamaican flag on it and says "Jamaican me crazy". Phil Christensen can play all his songs on his cracking knuckles. Dave Parillo has won Olympic medals in every event while carrying a 300 pound fat man on his shoulders. Matt Cole feeds orphaned baby birds from his own mouth. Phil Christensen once had the ability to make rain fall at will, but he traded it for a lifetime supply of Zagnut bars. Dave Parillo was formed from mud and straw 3,000 years ago by a zoroastrian priest to protect his village from snakes.